Yesterday I got an email that will change my life forever—or
at least change my movie-viewing life forever. The email, ominously titled “Our
Final Season,” revealed that on September 29, 2023, Netflix DVD will ship its
final red envelope. When I read this horrifying bit of information, I let out
an audible gasp. Had there been anyone around at that moment to hear my gasp,
they would surely have asked “What’s wrong?” and I would have told them. But
there was no one around at that moment to ask, so now I’m telling you instead.
First off, I’m not a complete idiot. I recognize that DVDs are an outdated
technology and it’s highly likely that at this point the Netflix DVD subscriber
database consists of me and about 14 other dinosaurs who just can’t let go of
the 1990s. I get that keeping a multi-million-dollar enterprise open for 15
nerds isn’t a sustainable business model. So, I’m not outraged, just sad.
I should also mention that I do stream movies all the time, not only on Netflix
but on Prime and Hulu, as well. In fact, I watch streaming movies way more than
DVDs. So why am I so sad, you ask? I will sum up my sadness with one word—SELECTION.
Yes, streaming is horribly convenient, and there are certainly thousands of
titles to choose from, but almost all of those titles have come out in the past
two decades. Sure, there are a handful of flicks available from earlier than that,
but most of those are either very popular flicks that I’ve already seen or,
frankly, they’re hot garbage. For a movie geek like me who wants to see films
like Going My Way (1944) or Vampyr (1932), waiting around for them
to be available via a streaming service could take a very, very, VERY long
time. Yet I was able to get both titles on DVD through Netflix without any problem.
So now I’m faced with an interesting dilemma. I am on the two-disc per month
plan, which means that between now and when Netflix DVDs are gone forever, I
will be able to rent 10 discs. How do I possibly choose the 10 movies I will
see? These may be the 10 most important decisions I make this year.
There are currently 38 movies in my DVD queue, which means that 28 of them will
have to be thrown by the wayside. There are a handful of movies in my queue
that I’ve already seen and wanted to see again, but given the gravity of this
situation, rewatching a movie would be downright irresponsible. No, all the movies
need to be ones I’ve never laid eyes on.
There are some movies that have literally been sitting in my queue for years. I
often reorder my queue, moving things to the top that I suddenly have an interest
in seeing, so some flicks keep on getting jumped over by others. Maybe now is
the time to see something like Romance & Cigarettes, an indie musical
from 2005 directed by John Turturro, one of my all-time favorite actors. It has
been in my queue for more than ten years, so up to the top you go!
One by one I will have to make these crucial decisions, choosing each film I
rent with the utmost care. How many horror flicks should I choose? How many
Best Picture nominees? How many silent films? And once I watch my last ten
rentals by the end of September, the other 28 films in my queue and the
thousands more that I never got to will be lost to me forever. I, and my 14
brethren sitting in front of their DVD players, will all shed a tear on September
29th as the credits roll on the end of an era. I’ll be sure to wipe
my eyes with a red envelope.
