Monday, December 30, 2019

My 65 (Yup, 65) Favorite Musical Artists



Readers of my blog know that I love me some lists. Specifically, I love boring my readers with lists of my favorite movies, music, books, and key lime pies. You know, the usual stuff you see all over the internet. While I’ve done a couple of different versions of my favorite albums lists, I’ve never done a favorite musical artists list, which is what I am regaling you with today.

Why 65, though, you are inevitably wondering? In list making you routinely see Top 10, 25, 50, or 100 lists, but never 65. An odd number to be sure, but not completely random. You have my friend Kurt (last name withheld for anonymity purposes) to thank for this. You see, Kurt may enjoy making lists even more than I, and in 2019 he embarked upon an incredibly ambitious project of listing his Top 365 favorite musical artists alphabetically, day by day, on Facebook. For each artist he wrote a lengthy blurb about their background and history and his own personal connection to them, culminating with a list of his Top 10 favorite songs by said artist.

I was mesmerized by Kurt’s project and went out of my way to read his daily entries. Sometimes his family and work life got in the way and he fell behind a bit, but the guy plugged along and sometimes did more than one entry in a day. As I said, it was incredibly ambitious…and possibly insane.

Inspired by Kurt’s project, I wondered if I could come up with a list of 365 favorite musical artists. I quickly realized the answer is a resounding “No!” There are not even close to 365 bands and solo artists I can call a favorite. I thought I might attempt a list of 165, but even that proved difficult, as I completely petered out by the time I got to 148. And really, many of the entries toward the end were a stretch.

So 165 was out, but 65 seemed very doable. There are 65 artists I can call a favorite without it being too much of a stretch. Hence the list you are about to see. The write-ups on each are only two to three sentences, though, as I don’t want to put you to sleep too quickly. And if you are disappointed because you don’t see your favorite here, rest assured there is a good chance they fell somewhere between 66 and 148. So, without further ado…

65. Rodriguez – Here’s a solo artist from the early 1970s who quickly fell into obscurity until an amazing 2012 documentary called Searching for Sugar Man brought him back to the public’s eye. I first saw the film and heard his music this year and I was instantly hooked. He’s basically a Latin Dylan-Springsteen hybrid. Favorite song: “Crucify Your Mind”

64. Wishbone Ash – Another early 70s act I didn’t know anything about until this year. I’d heard of them for many years, but never went out of my way to listen to them until a friend posted a comment about them on Facebook about four or five months ago. Wishbone Ash is sort of a heavy progressive rock band, with some interesting jazz elements mixed in. Favorite song: “Errors of My Way”

63. Nirvana – I understand that these guys were pivotal in the direction rock music took in the 1990s, but have never adored them to the same extent that many others have. That said, there are a lot of really good songs in their small, three-album history. Favorite song: “Lithium”

62. Journey – I know, I know, cool and smart music aficionados say I’m not supposed to like them, but if I’m honest with myself, I do. I was in junior high and high school when they were at the height of their popularity and they were a part of my music world back then. To this day, when I hear the first few notes of “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” come on my car radio I turn the volume up to 11. Favorite song: “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)”

61. Heart – Ann Wilson has one of the most iconic and powerful voices in rock music and she used it to turn Heart into a female-driven Led Zeppelin. At least many of their songs were Zeppelin-esque, but they managed to get some lighter ballads in their too, like “Alone.” Favorite song: “Crazy on You”

60. George Harrison – One of three ex-Beatles who will appear on my list (sorry Ringo, I love you, but you didn’t quite make the cut) he has some tunes I love in his solo career. While George was never as front and center as John or Paul, I think he was every bit as good of a songwriter and his solo career reflects that. Favorite song: “When We Was Fab”

59. Van Halen – Existing on the cusp of hard rock and heavy metal, Van Halen churned out a ton of energetic, hard-driving songs that were never particularly deep in meaning, but almost always fun to rock out to. While many are split on whether David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar was better as the lead singer, I almost think it doesn’t matter, since Eddie Van Halen’s virtuoso guitar is what drove the band anyway. Favorite song: "Runnin’ with the Devil”

58. Steve Miller Band – There is nothing fancy about Steve and his band, but their songs are just fun, straightforward rockers. That is, until he put out the song “Abracadabra,” which I can’t stand. On a side note, one of the worst blind dates of my life was at a Steve Miller Band concert, but that’s a story for another time. Favorite song: “Fly Like an Eagle”

57. Foreigner – These guys just put out hit after hit after hit from the late 70s to mid-80s. I really don’t have much else to say about them other than, I really like many of those hits they put out. Favorite song: “Cold as Ice”

56. Talking Heads – Here’s a band that had one of the more unique sounds of the 70s and 80s. They are very hard to classify, but I guess you’d put them somewhere on the new wave to punk spectrum. As unique was their sound, so was their general vibe, which was perpetuated by their oddly compelling leader David Byrne. Favorite song: “Psycho Killer”

55. Van Morrison – Somewhere between soul and folk exists the often catchy, often tender tunes of Van Morrison. I got into him in my early 20s and wore out a cassette tape of his album Tupelo Honey, which I absolutely love. Favorite song: “Wild Night”

54. System of a Down – I’m not going to pretend to know much about this Armenian-American heavy metal band, since all I know of them is from one album—Toxicity. But wow, what an album it is! Some of the tunes are so fast and heavy they make Metallica look like The Carpenters, but beyond the speed and heaviness is a smoothness and intensity that is incredibly compelling. Favorite song: “Aerials”

53. Lionel Richie – Perhaps I should be embarrassed that I included Lionel Richie on this list, but frankly, I don’t care, because I’m trying to be honest here. And if I’m being honest, in the early 1980s I couldn’t get enough of this guy who was the king of the romantic ballad. While I’m recognizing him as a solo artist on this list, I want to acknowledge that he also wrote some great songs while he was still with The Commodores. Favorite song: “Hello”

52. Joan Osborne – Another artist whose placement on this list is based entirely on the strength of one really good album. That album would be Relish, a bluesy, soulful masterpiece, best known for the single “One of Us,” (which, incidentally, I used as the basis for an article I wrote for MAD.) While “One of Us” is a very good song, there are many others on this album that I like even more. Favorite song: “St. Theresa”

51. Elvis Costello – My brother Mark was a rabid fan of Elvis Costello in the late 70s and early 80s and thus, exposed me to the catchy tunes of this punk/new wave icon. His songs vary from slow and soulful to fast-paced and toe-tapping, but all are a great listen. Favorite song: “Alison”

50. Sting – In 1985, Sting left his incredibly successful band, The Police, to embark on a solo career. He was equally as successful as a solo artist, though his music took on a distinctly different, jazzy sound than his work with The Police. My favorite song of his is inspired by one of my favorite novels, Interview with the Vampire, by Anne Rice. Favorite Song: “Moon Over Bourbon Street”

49. Eagles – These guys were mega-hit makers in the 1970s and Hotel California is one of the best-selling albums of all time. I do like a lot of their songs, but there is a certain sameness to their sound that eventually wears thin. They also have the distinction of being the one band I saw live with both my brothers and their wives. Favorite song: “Desparado”

48. Paul McCartney and Wings – I guess I could have just put Paul McCartney here, but I realized, when looking at his discography, that it’s really his work with Wings that I like the best. While his work with Wings is obviously not on the same level as The Beatles, there are still lots of really good songs to be had from this ensemble. And as a kid, I absolutely loved the fact that they made a Bond theme song. Favorite song: “Live and Let Die”

47. R.E.M. – A light, ethereal alternative music band that put out a lot of radio hits in the 80s and 90s, I definitely like a lot of their tunes, but have never been a rabid fan. As such, I really have nothing else to say about these guys. Favorite song: “Losing My Religion”

46. The Kinks – One of the early and more successful British Invasion bands. The Kinks had an interesting mix of straightforward rock songs like “You Really Got Me” and quirky, novelty tunes like “Lola.” Favorite song: “Apeman”

45. The Four Tops – I like a lot of Motown, but none more so than the songs put out by these guys. The Four Tops was Motown with an edge, as some of their tunes had a much darker, heavier feel to them than the work being done by their peers. I absolutely love several of their songs, but my favorite is this devastating number… Favorite song: “7-Rooms of Gloom”

44. Green Day – This is not a band that I’ve ever known that much about, seen live, or really think of when I’m thinking of favorite bands. But as I worked on this project I came to realize that over the years I unwittingly came to really like many of their songs. When a Green Day song comes on the radio whilst I’m driving, I will inevitably turn up the volume and violently shake my head back and forth in time with their catchy tunes. Favorite song: “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”

43. Iron Maiden – As a wannabe metal-head in the mid-to-late 1980s, Iron Maiden was required listening and for a couple of years they were one of my favorite bands. I saw them live four times in this period, thrice in arenas and once in Brooklyn’s legendary rock club L’Amour, where I experienced my first mosh pit. I don’t listen to them much these days, but can’t deny their musical impact on me. Favorite song: “Run to the Hills”

42. James Taylor – The king of wistful, tender, folk rock, James Taylor could not be any more different than the prior entry on this list. But his thoughtful tunes and emotional delivery connect with me on an almost spiritual level. Favorite song: “Fire and Rain”

41. Queen – Of all the artists on this list, Queen is probably the band that has the biggest array of songs I either really, really like or really, really can’t stand (“Another One Bites the Dust” makes my skin crawl.) But there are a large enough number of songs in the "really, really like" category to place them here on my list. Favorite song: “The Prophet’s Song”

40. Bob Dylan – This may have been the toughest artist to place on my list, and Dylan landing here may cause both my brother Mark and friend John to disown me. The challenge is that while I recognize that he is one of the greatest songwriters of all time, it is also true that I inevitably like covers of his songs more than his own versions. The Hendrix version of “All Along the Watchtower,” Clapton’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” and Joel’s “The Times They Are A-Changin” are just a few of the many examples of Dylan covers I love. For this list, though, I’ll go with a favorite based on Dylan’s own version. Favorite song: “Subterranean Homesick Blues”

39. Simon and Garfunkel – Very much influenced by Dylan, this short-lived duo churned out a lot of great songs in their six years together. Their final album together, Bridge Over Troubled Water, is one of the greatest folk rock albums of all time. They also did the amazing soundtrack to my favorite film, The Graduate. Favorite song: “The Sound of Silence”

38. Tom Petty – For whatever reason, even though I really like every Tom Petty or Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers song I hear on the radio, I’ve never gone out of my way to purchase his music. Maybe that makes me a jerk, but the reality is, if I feel like hearing a Tom Petty song, all I have to do is turn on the radio and flip back and forth between four different stations and within about 20 minutes I’m almost guaranteed of hearing one of his songs. Favorite song: “Refugee”

37. The Police – Over the course of their short career, The Police put out five albums in five years, all of which went platinum. Their music was a compelling punk-reggae combo that accompanied unique, often very literary lyrics penned by front man Sting. While they were only around for half a decade, the amount of great, catchy songs they put out is remarkable. Favorite song: “Message in a Bottle”

36.  Emerson, Lake & Palmer – The great thing about naming your group Emerson, Lake & Palmer is that fans will never forget the names of the band members. But given the incredible virtuosity of Keith Emerson on keyboards, Greg Lake on bass and guitar, and Carl Palmer on drums, there’s no reason anyone should ever forget the names of these guys. They were prog-rock gods and their album Brain Salad Surgery (ridiculous name and all) is ELP at their finest. Favorite song: “Still…You Turn Me On”

35. John Lennon – My favorite Beatle also had my favorite solo career by the Fab Four. With his unique combo of quirky, sardonic wit and peace-loving sensibility, he is also one of my favorite personas in rock (musical ability aside.) But, of course, the musical ability was incredible too as his way too short solo career bares out. Favorite song: “Mind Games”

34. 10,000 Maniacs – This band formed in the early 1980s, but I did not become aware of them until the release of their last studio album in 1992. They are an alternative band with a pleasing, mellow sound (which seems to contradict the band’s name) that makes me want to sit by a small campfire and put my arm around a friend. In their heyday the band’s lead singer was Natalie Merchant, who went on to a very successful solo career that I will discuss further down this list. Favorite song: “These Are Days”

33. Depeche Mode – For years I dismissed this band as electronic dance music with no substance. So I never noticed when they evolved into a deeper, more intense sound. As it turns out, this is my wife’s favorite band, so when we got together she exposed me to the magic of the album Violator and I finally started to pay attention. Favorite song: “World in My Eyes”

32. Bob Seger – Whether solo or with his Silver Bullet Band, Bob Seger put out a ton of great songs, some rockin’ and some of a more ballad-like nature. He was also constantly reminding his fans of how great rock music is in general, with songs like “Rock and Roll Never Forgets” and “Old Time Rock and Roll.” Favorite song: “We’ve Got Tonight”

31. Squeeze – This British new wave band put out four great albums from 1978 to 1981. They had a lot of fun, catchy tunes in that timeframe, but never quite had A-list level success in the United States. My brother Mark and I got to see them open for Fleetwood Mac (who did not quite make this list), which was an odd pairing, but they put on a great set. Favorite song: “Pulling Mussels (From the Shell)”

30. U2 – One of the most commercially successful bands of all time, this Irish rock-pop band has put out a ton of popular hits. Their tunes run the gamut from catchy to wistful to political. My wife is a much bigger fan than I, but I still like them enough to place them this high up on my list. Favorite song: “New Year’s Day”

29. Bowling For Soup – Here’s another band that my wife turned me on to. They are a punk band that emerged in the 90s with a bunch of extremely catchy, extremely funny tunes. They had a sliver of radio success in 2004 with their song “1985,” about a middle-aged mom stuck in the 80s, which is just plain fun. They also have an unusual amount of songs about bad breakups and angry dads trying to catch their daughter’s boyfriends, so clearly those are themes they have firsthand experience with. Favorite song: “Girl All the Bad Guys Want”

28. Bob Marley and the Wailers – In the late 1980s my good friend Alex got me into reggae. And when you get into reggae you quickly realize that Bob Marley and the Wailers are to reggae what The Beatles are to the rest of music. Marley wrote songs that were smooth and intense and dealt with social issues through a spiritual lens. Favorite song: “Redemption Song”

27. Ozzy Osborne – The lead singer of Black Sabbath (coming up later) departed that band to start his own very successful solo career. Going solo allowed Ozzy to increase his theatrical gothic stage persona, which went well with the grandiose metal tunes he put out. And he does, indeed, put on a great show, which I found out the one time I got to see him in concert in 1990-ish. Favorite song: “Mr. Crowley”

26. David Bowie – There was no one in the history of rock quite like Bowie. His music was always tough to classify—was it rock? Pop? New wave? Avant garde? It was all of that and more, but the common thread in his music is that it was always compelling. Beyond the music itself, Bowie was a pop culture icon, who was still producing at a high level when he passed away at the age of 69. Favorite song: “Suffragette City”

25. Paul Simon – When he and Garfunkel split, Paul Simon took his music to a whole other level. For a while he continued to make really good folk-pop tunes, but then in the 80s he started experimenting with sounds from different parts of the world resulting in the great, but distinctly unique albums “Graceland” and “The Rhythm of the Saints.” And the one time I saw him in concert he put on one of the great live shows I’ve ever been to. Favorite song: “You Can Call Me Al”

24. Zebra – This band would be obscure to most people, unless you came of age amidst the hard rock, heavy metal scene of Brooklyn in the 1980s. I, and my cronies, saw these guys live many times at the aforementioned rock club L’Amour. They put out three albums in the 80s that got minor radio airplay and then they faded away, but not before leaving a significant impact on a large number of East Coast rockers. Favorite song: “Tell Me What You Want”

23. Styx – These guys were actually my favorite band for a few years toward the end of elementary school. Their album Cornerstone was the first one I ever purchased with my own money.  They were all over the radio in the 70s and early 80s and I dug them, but as I got into other bands, they slowly slid down my list of favorites until landing here. Favorite song: “What Has Come Between Us”

22. Cream – While only making music from 1966 through 1969, this power trio’s song catalogue packs an incredible wallop. Their album Disraeli Gears, by itself, has at least six songs that I would consider great. Unfortunately, the virtuoso combo of Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce, and Ginger Baker only lasted a few years, but they made an enormous impact on the trajectory of hard rock in their short time together. Favorite song: “Tales of Brave Ulysses”

21. The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Following an oddly similar, yet even shorter trajectory as Cream, this incredible power trio made three amazing albums over the course of two years. Sadly, rather than coming to an end because of simply parting ways, the band ended with the death of Hendrix at the way too early age of 27. But the unparalleled guitar playing of Hendrix, accompanied by the outstanding playing of drummer Mitch Mitchell and bassist Noel Redding, resulted in three albums of astonishing quality. Favorite song: “Fire”

20. The Rolling Stones – While often considered second only to The Beatles in the pantheon of rock, I never quite connected to them on the same level as some of the other British rock bands that emerged in the 60s. That said, the sheer volume of good to very good songs that they have put out over the decades lands them at the back end of my Top 20. Oh, and when I was a kid I once got a big pair of wax lips and went to a Halloween party as Mic Jagger. Favorite song: “Angie”

19. The Cranberries – The Cranberries emerged in the early 90s, as female alternative rockers started to really break through. On their first album, Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We? lead singer Dolores O’Riordan’s lilting Irish voice accompanying the lullaby-like tunes, has an almost hypnotic effect on the listener. By the time they get to their third album, To The Faithful Departed, the lullaby vibe has been replaced by an anarchistic outrage, but O’Riordan’s voice is no less hypnotic. Favorite song: “Salvation”

18. Black Sabbath – Commonly considered to be the progenitors of the heavy metal music genre (unless you are delusional, like Pete Townshend, who recently said that he invented heavy metal), Black Sabbath took hard rock in a new direction. With ominous tunes, and lyrics that were often terrifying, their first two albums, both released in 1970, were masterpieces of the genre. Once Ozzy Osborne left in 1979 they were never quite the same, but for a decade these guys blazed a pioneering trail in rock music. Favorite song: “War Pigs”

17. Phish – This Vermont-based band’s music was like manna to college-aged hippies in the early 1990s. I was sort of a fringe hippy during that timeframe, so I eventually got wind of their music. The flower child vibe at their concerts I could take or leave, but I fell in love with their complex prog-jazz musical style and bizarre, stream of consciousness lyrics. Favorite song: “Stash”

16. Natalie Merchant – In 1995, two years after parting ways with the band 10,000 Maniacs, Natalie Merchant released her first solo album, Tigerlily. That album, along with her next two solo albums, managed to find its way straight to my soul. Her tender, emotive voice, singing lyrics that are sometimes wistful, sometimes joyful, and always a wonderful earful, is my favorite female voice in rock/pop music. Favorite song: “Ophelia”

15. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Here’s another band whose style is difficult to define, though they often just get lumped into “alternative,” despite the fact that they might be funk, punk, or maybe even metal depending on the album and/or who you ask. They flew very much under the mainstream radar for about seven years before becoming mega-stars with their fifth album, Blood Sugar Sex Magik. That’s when I first became aware of them and I’ve been a big fan ever since. Favorite song: “Parallel Universe”

14. The Doors – There may be no band in the history of rock whose persona hinged so completely on their charismatic front man. Jim Morrison was a rock and roll poet who embodied the stereotypical excesses of a rock star. His often trippy lyrics, combined with Ray Manzarek’s hypnotic lead keyboards gave The Doors a distinctive sound that many critics dismissed, but I and millions of others adored. Favorite song: “My Eyes Have Seen You”

13. Jethro Tull – Fronted by singer and flutist Ian Anderson, Jethro Tull had a unique prog-rock style that almost sounded Renaissance-like. Their album Aqualung is one of my favorite albums of all time, but they have a ton of other great songs throughout their catalog. And as of this writing they remain the biggest snub of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Favorite song: “Locomotive Breath”

12. Billy Joel – One of the most commercially successful songwriters of all time, the Long Island born piano man, has produced an incredible amount of hit songs. From 1971 to 1993 Joel put out a dozen albums, of which eleven went platinum, and then at the age of 44 he stopped making new rock music, unlike most of his peers. He hasn’t disappeared though, as he still tours and I’ve been fortunate enough to see him live four times. Favorite song: “All For Leyna”

11. Elton John – One of the most commercially successful songwriters of all time, the British born piano man, has produced an incredible amount of hit songs. Unlike his friend Billy Joel (whom he has sometimes toured with) he did not retire in 1993 and has put out 30 albums in his illustrious career, of which 16 have gone platinum in the United States. I’ve also managed to see him four times, including one of the aforementioned tours with Billy Joel. Favorite song: “Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding”

10. Live – I became aware of this 90s alternative band a couple of years before they found mainstream success with their hit “Lightning Crashes.” Almost a decade later, when I met the woman who would become my wife, we discovered we were both huge Live fans, so they sort of became our band. As a result, we ended up using one of their songs as the first dance at our wedding, and it remains my favorite of theirs to this day. Favorite song: “Dance With You”


9. They Might Be Giants – With their lyrics that are sometimes goofy, sometimes educational, and always entertaining, this two-person band never fails to make me smile. The two Johns (Flansburgh and Linnel) match their fun lyrics with simple, catchy tunes for the full feel-good effect. Not surprisingly, they have also put out a few great kids albums, of which two of them—Here Come the ABCs and Here Come the 123s, I played constantly for my kids when they were toddlers. Favorite song: “Birdhouse in Your Soul”

8. Yes – Player for player, Yes may have had the most talented musicians in the history of rock. This resulted in some incredibly epic albums, including my favorite of theirs, Fragile, which contains my favorite song by any musical artist, to be revealed momentarily. They also went through a lot of lineup changes, resulting in some mediocre albums later in their career, but their great stuff was so incredibly great, they wind up here on my list. Favorite song: “Roundabout”

7. Metallica – The undeniable kings of metal, their first four albums, all made in the 1980s, are unmatched in their genre. Their fifth album, released in 1991, featured much shorter, more polished songs, including a (gasp!) love song, and suddenly these guys were mainstream. Their output from that point onward was very hit or miss, but a decade’s worth of some of the best heavy songs ever produced lands them squarely in my Top 10. Favorite song: “Master of Puppets”

6. The Who – Pete Townshend may not be one of the flashiest guitarists in rock history, but he may certainly be one of the best songwriters. With Roger Daltrey singing the words and Keith Moon on drums and John Entwistle on bass, behind Townshend’s guitar, this foursome churned out one of the best catalogs in all of rock. The pinnacle of their career was the album Who’s Next, which is one of my favorite albums ever. Favorite song: “Behind Blue Eyes”

5. Pink Floyd – The album that I have probably listened to from beginning to end more than any other is The Wall, but the irony is, it’s not even my favorite album by Pink Floyd; that distinction belongs to Wish You Were Here. Oh, and arguably their most acclaimed album, Dark Side of the Moon, ain’t too shabby either. All three of these albums, as well as several others they put out in the 70s and 80s, have a mind-bending, psychedelic sound that is unlike any other musical artist before or since. Favorite song: “Welcome to the Machine”

4. Led Zeppelin – Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and John Bonham formed the greatest heavy rock band of all time. Their tunes were epic, hard-driving, and oftentimes quite trippy. From the time this band formed in 1969 until John Bonham’s untimely death in 1980, Led Zeppelin put out less than a hundred songs, but almost all of them were somewhere between very good and amazing. Favorite song: “Dazed and Confused”

3. Bruce Springsteen – If the album Born to Run were the only one Springsteen ever made, he still would have wound up in my Top 10, so good was this piece of vinyl, which is my favorite to this day. Of course, The Boss made a lot of music both before and after Born to Run, much of which is also amazing. Perhaps it is the urgency of the tunes, or the poetry of the lyrics, or the way he performs, or really all of these things combined, but for me, no solo artist is in the same stratosphere as Bruce. Favorite song: “Jungleland”

2. The Beatles – They are the most influential band in the history of modern music, with far and away more recognizable songs than any other artist. Their albums are all pretty much on the great to masterpiece spectrum. I still listen to them on a regular basis today and from time to time some songs that I didn’t think too much of previously, suddenly jump out at me due to their greatness, making picking a favorite very difficult, so I’ll just stick with my stock answer. Favorite song: “Norwegian Wood”

1. Rush – Dismissed by many as a geeky, prog-rock novelty act, from the time I was in my mid-teens I connected to this band more than any other before or since. Who knows what goes on in my neurons that causes this, but the virtuosity of singer/bassist Geedy Lee, guitarist Alex Lifeson, and drummer Neil Peart, speaks to me on a whole different level. They are also amazing to see live, which I have done on a dozen occasions. I apologize in advance for my favorite song, which did not get any airplay and will only be known by other Rush fans. Favorite song: “Cygnus X-1 Book I: The Voyage”

Thank you for sticking with another one of my lengthy list blogs. (Assuming you did stick with it, and if you didn’t, I really can’t blame you.) One caveat about the favorite song entries—while I do have some longtime definitive favorite songs for some of these musical artists, for many it was really my favorite song by them at the moment I was writing this, with the possibility of it changing tomorrow and the next day and on and on. As with all forms of art our tastes evolve. And remember to check back with me next month for my list of 65 favorite key lime pies.



Friday, November 29, 2019

Crucial Advice on Black Friday



Hello, and welcome to the day after Thanksgiving! As your body deals with the near-lethal combo of carbohydrates and tryptophan currently coursing through your veins, I thought I would provide a public service to all my readers. Yes, while yesterday I gave thanks, today I give advice, totally free of charge. And you don’t even have to thank me until next Thanksgiving.

Today, of course, is Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Incredible discounts abound at retailers across the nation and you likely have your eye on more than a few deals to help you launch your holiday shopping spree. One must be careful, however, and not just jump into a day of this import willy-nilly. So I have some crucial advice on dealing with Black Friday that I would like to impart on you now. Before I get to the advice, however, let us assess what you will be dealing with.

Traffic – Driving to your shopping destination of choice—whether it be a mall, a Target, or a specialty boutique that sells gold-plaited underwear—can prove challenging. Everyone wants to get to their favorite retail outlet faster than the person driving next to them, on the off chance that the person driving next to them happens to be in the market for the same exact coveted item. Hence, on Black Friday, people drive with reckless abandon, their foot heavy on the gas pedal. Yellow lights are meaningless, right of way ignored, and speed limits not even considered as a friendly suggestion.  Yes, driving on Black Friday can prove deadly.

Parking – Finding a parking spot within a two mile radius of your chosen store can prove challenging if not impossible. That guy who blew past you at 90 miles per hour on a side street is now trying to get his Ford F-150 into a parking space meant for a Smart Car and he will NOT be denied. Every row you drive down there will be at least four cars ahead of you vying for the first spot that opens up and if you are lucky enough to be in the right spot as someone is pulling out, there is an excellent chance someone will steal your spot from the opposite direction. When, after an hour of driving back and forth in every parking lane in your zip code, you finally do get a spot, taking that long walk to the store can prove treacherous as you are forced to dodge every car that is still manically searching for a spot. Yes, parking on Black Friday can prove deadly.

Shopping – Once you have made it into the store there is a 37.8% chance that you will be trampled, or at the very least have your foot stepped on, while working your way toward the aisle that sells the product you seek. Everyone seems to want the same thing that you want and on this day normally civilized individuals turn into cutthroat savages who will stop at nothing to obtain what they want. Pushing, shoving, kicking, and even the occasional knee to the groin are all in play when it comes to getting the newest PlayStation at 50% off of retail price. Looking for deals in the kitchenware section can prove particularly hazardous with all that cutlery lying around. Here is where “getting stabbed in the back” can go from figurative to literal in a hurry. Yes, shopping on Black Friday can prove deadly.

Paying – Assuming you managed to obtain the item you sought (or perhaps a lame replacement) you still have to pay for said item before leaving the store. The checkout lines will seem impossibly long. In fact, there is a good chance you will be standing on what you think is a checkout line, but is actually a line to the bathroom or simply just 16 people in a row who happen to moving in the same direction. If you do manage to get on an actual checkout line, after several hours, you may finally get to have an interaction with a cashier. The hope is that your credit or debit card will be accepted without any problem. The people behind you on line have been waiting just as long as you and they are restless. If something or someone in front of them is causing a delay in their being able to checkout, there is a good chance it could start a riot. And if the person right behind you just so happens to be coming from the cutlery section, well… Yes, paying on Black Friday can prove deadly.

So, now that I have set up all the things that you will be up against on Black Friday, I am finally able to dispense my crucial advice.

Stay home.

Thursday, October 31, 2019

From Batman to Insurance Man

The first Halloween that my younger son was old enough to decide on his own costume, he chose to be Batman. (Note: the Halloween before that, he was only eight months old, so we chose for him—cat. This possibly explains his obsession with cats to this day.) Choosing to be Batman when you are almost two years old is pretty normal. At that age you know nothing of his tragic backstory and brooding demeanor; you just know that he wears a cool outfit and gets the bad guy. Indeed, dressing up as a superhero for Halloween is pretty commonplace for young boys. Over the years my two sons have been varying incarnations of Batman, Ironman, and Spiderman.


But kids grow out of their superhero phase eventually and branch out to other types of costumes. My younger son has been a character from the Minecraft video game, a cat (again), and a penguin. (I’m talking just a regular penguin, not “The Penguin,” because he would never want to betray his younger Batman self by dressing up as one of his enemies.) This year, however, he went in a completely different direction. About two months before Halloween, he excitedly told us what he was going to dress up as this year—an insurance salesman!

That’s right, our 10-year-old son was done with superheroes and video game characters and animals, and was branching out into the world of finance. He created business cards and an insurance contract (which he keeps on insisting is legally binding) and asked if he could borrow my clipboard. He bought a cheap pair of glasses at the dollar store and popped out the lenses. He donned a suit. He combed his hair (unusual for him) and carried himself in a professional manner. He was officially an insurance salesman.

On Halloween he went door to door with his clipboard hoping to snag candy and clients. For the sake of those generously distributing treats, I hoped nobody actually signed the contract he wrote, which reads in part: “If you are unlucky enough to be reading this right now, I will let you know that there is no turning back now. If you choose to proceed, you might as well meet your financial collapse.” Yes, some kids egg your house, while my kid entraps you with unethical business documents.

Luckily, nobody reported my son to the Better Business Bureau, and his costume proved to be well-liked (albeit a tad perplexing) by most door openers. Ultimately, success on Halloween is measured by candy-haul and in that regard my son made a killing. Yes, the boy will be sugared up for weeks now and he has decided to lose the clipboard and go as something totally different next Halloween—a lawyer. Looks like I’ll be lending him my briefcase.

Monday, September 16, 2019

50 Years of Favorites


Fifty years ago today I sprang into the world as a crying, wet mess. And I fully expected to be a crying, wet mess again today on my 50th birthday. Indeed, for months, neigh years, I have been dreading this day. For a long time I had been contemplating writing a weighty, introspective blog about hitting the half-century mark, but the more I contemplated it, the more I realized how utterly depressing that would be. And the last thing I want to do is depress my loyal audience. (Yeah, I’m talking to all six of you.) Besides, last month I wrote a blog along those lines anyway, so why should I be redundant?


So a couple of weeks ago I shifted gears and started contemplating fun things I might write about to honor my 50th and lo and behold, I had an epiphany. I get strange pleasure from creating lists of my favorite things. In fact, I’ve done several blogs along those lines in the past. So in honor of my 50th, why not create Top 50 lists of my favorite albums, movies, television shows, and books? Yep, why should I depress my readers when I could bore them instead?

In the interest of time, and considering there will be 200 entries across the four lists, I decided to write only one line on each entry. Even so, this will be a long read, so feel free to skim and/or read it in multiple sittings. (I apologize in advance that I didn’t have time to create an audio version.) Without further ado…

MY TOP 50 ALBUMS

(Note: I once blogged about my Top 25 Albums, which has lengthier critiques for each album. Feel free to read that here if you are so inclined. Over the past two years those 25 have changed slightly as astute readers will note by comparing the old list with the one below.)

50. Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd, 1973) – Not my favorite Pink Floyd album as you will soon see, but no arguing with the amazingness of this album that spent more than 900 weeks on the Billboard charts!

49. Toxicity (System of a Down, 2001) – Insanely aggressive, yet at times incredibly melodic, this is the only album on my list that came out in this century.

48. Relish (Joan Osborne, 1995) – I got this album because I wrote a MAD article poking fun at her huge radio hit “One of Us,” but when I listened to it, I realized the rest of the songs were great, particularly, her bluesy, brooding cover of Bob Dylan’s “Man in the Long Black Coat.”

47. Glass Houses (Billy Joel, 1980) – I listened to the song “All for Leyna” constantly to fuel my anguish due to an unrequited crush I had in 5th grade.

46. Ophelia (Natalie Merchant, 1998) – Natalie Merchant’s voice on the opening title track is as smooth and delicious as melted dark chocolate.

45. Natty Dread (Bob Marley and the Wailers, 1974) – My friend Alex got me into reggae in the late 1980s and this album was my favorite of the genre.

44. Black Sabbath (Black Sabbath, 1970) – Listening to this album is like watching the scariest of horror films, and as a big fan of the horror genre, I mean this to be high praise.

43. Zebra (Zebra, 1983) – This album features lots of catchy hard rock/prog rock tunes from a band that I always thought should have achieved a greater level of commercial success.

42. The Distance to Here (Live, 1999) – Released about a month before my wife and I got engaged, we ended up using the song “Dance with You” as our first dance at our wedding.

41. Grace Under Pressure (Rush, 1984) – This is a delightfully brooding, electric keyboard-driven album by my all-time favorite band.

40. Our Time in Eden (10,000 Maniacs, 1992) – Before she went solo, Natalie Merchant was the lead singer of alternative folk group 10,000 Maniacs, which had several good albums, but this, the last one with Natalie, is my favorite.

39. 52nd Street (Billy Joel, 1978) – “Big Shot,” “Honesty,” and “My Life” were the hits off this album, but most of the other songs are every bit as good, if not better.

38. John Henry (They Might Be Giants, 1994) – Such a fun album, by such a fun band, I implore you to seek out and listen to the song “O, Do Not Forsake Me,” in honor of my milestone birthday.

37. Abbey Road (The Beatles, 1969) – Released just 10 days after I was born, this incredible album was the last one recorded by the Fab Four.

36. Ride the Lightning (Metallica, 1984) – The greatest heavy metal band of all time delivers the goods on their second album and introduces what my friend, Scott, calls the “Metalli-ballad” with the song “Fade to Black.”

35. Close to the Edge (Yes, 1972) – Only the prog-rock wizards of Yes can successfully pull off a 37-minute long album that contains only three songs.

34. The Stranger (Billy Joel, 1977) – The final Billy Joel album on my list features a bunch of hits, but my favorite is the title track.

33. To the Faithful Departed (The Cranberries, 1996) – Lead vocalist Dolores O’Riordan’s punk rock lullabies and distinctive Irish accent are mesmerizing on this album.

32. The Doors (The Doors, 1967) – Their debut album had a bunch of hits, but my favorite is the psychedelic epic “The End,” which ends the album.

31. The Beatles/White Album (The Beatles, 1968) – As a carefree, fun-loving kid my favorite song on this album was “Rocky Raccoon,” but now, as a serious, somber adult my favorite song on this album is “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

30. Signals (Rush, 1982) – This is the first album I ever purchased of my favorite band so, in a way, you can say this record changed my life.

29. Tigerlily (Natalie Merchant, 1995) – I liked her when she was in 10,000 Maniacs, but her solo work touches my soul, particularly on this album, which was her solo debut.

28. Revolver (The Beatles, 1966) – The most famous song on this album is “Eleanor Rigby,” but there are a bunch of lesser known gems like “I’m Only Sleeping,” “For No One,” and “Tomorrow Never Knows.”

27. Violator (Depeche Mode, 1990) – My wife’s favorite band, this album is hypnotic, mesmerizing and strangely danceable.

26. Moving Pictures (Rush, 1981) – Best known for containing Rush’s most famous song, “Tom Sawyer,” Side 1 of this album is essentially flawless and Side 2 ain’t too shabby either.

25. Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J. (Bruce Springsteen, 1973) – Springsteen’s debut album is a raw grab-bag of catchy tunes and gritty lyrics.

24. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Elton John, 1973) – Everyone knows the hits like the title track and “Bennie and the Jets,” but some of the lesser known songs like “This Song Has No Title” and “The Ballad of Danny Bailey” are equally as good.

23. Strange Days (The Doors, 1967) – This album starts with the wonderfully eerie title track and ends with the amazingly epic “When the Music’s Over,” and everything in between (with the exception of the bizarre spoken word “Horse Latitudes”) is great.

22. A Picture of Nectar (Phish, 1992) – People seem to love ‘em or hate ‘em and I’m in the love camp, because of the masterful musicianship combined with their compelling stream-of-consciousness lyrics.

21. Flood (They Might Be Giants, 1990) – No album can put a smile on my face like this one from the masters of geek humor rock.

20. Darkness on the Edge of Town (Bruce Springsteen, 1978) – Brooding and tuneful, The Boss knocked it out of the park with this follow up to an album that you will see further on down this list.

19. 2112 (Rush, 1976) – Side 1 is an epic prog-rock tour de force and Side 2 has a bunch of really, really good songs.

18. Disraeli Gears (Cream, 1967) – Psychedelic hard rock at its very best brought to you by Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce, and Ginger Baker, a super trio that could not possibly be matched…except by the band that’s next on my list.

17. Are You Experienced? (The Jimi Hendrix Experience, 1967) – While everyone knows that Hendrix was a guitar god, listen closely and it becomes clear that bassist Noel Redding and drummer Mitch Mitchell are pretty dang amazing too.

16. Mental Jewlery (Live, 1991) – I somehow caught wind of Live’s debut album soon after its release and was entranced by its raw energy.

15. Led Zeppelin IV (Led Zeppelin, 1971) – “Stairway to Heaven” is arguably the most well-known song in the history of classic rock, and rightfully so, but the other seven songs on this album are varying levels of very good to very great.

14. Master of Puppets (Metallica, 1986) – Don’t let the pretty sounding classical guitar that opens this album fool you; you are about to run into a buzz saw of thrash awesomeness.

13. Rubber Soul (The Beatles, 1965) – There are so many great songs on this album, that if this was the only album The Beatles ever released, they might still be considered one of the best rock bands of all time.

12. Permanent Waves (Rush, 1980) – If you want to “Begin the day with a friendly voice, a companion unobtrusive,” then this incredible album is for you.

11. Californication (Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1999) – This album seamlessly toggles back and forth between melodic and dreamy, and aggressive and in-your-face, in such a way that it takes on a life of its own.

10. Led Zeppelin (Led Zeppelin, 1969) – The debut album from the Zepsters features my favorite song of theirs—“Dazed and Confused”—as well as a bunch of other hard, bluesy and/or trippy tunes.

9. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (The Beatles, 1967) – While I’ve always considered it a great album, I had never considered it my favorite Beatles album until the last year or so when repeated listenings finally made me fully recognize it for the masterpiece that it is.

8.  The Wall (Pink Floyd, 1979) – The most effective concept album of all time, I listened to the cassette version of this almost non-stop for about a six-month span during junior high school, which probably explains my academic struggles at the time.

7. Paranoid (Black Sabbath, 1970) – The missing link between hard rock and heavy metal, from beginning to end this album is a mind-blowing experience.

6. Fragile (Yes, 1971) – The album that contains my favorite song of all time (“Roundabout”) showcases the most virtuosic musicianship on any rock album ever made.

5. A Farewell to Kings (Rush, 1977) – My favorite Rush song, “Cygnus X-1” (which believe me, is not for everyone) is contained within the confines of this prog-rock extravaganza.

4. Aqualung (Jethro Tull, 1971) – From the iconic heavy opening chords of the title track to the beautiful melody of “Wond’ring Aloud” this album is nothing short of perfect as it takes your ears on an epic auditory journey.

3. Who’s Next (The Who, 1971) – While the cover photo of the band members having apparently urinated on a concrete slab in the middle of an empty field may not scream “musical genius,” the nine amazing songs on the album say otherwise.

2. Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd, 1975) – The title track is a perfect song, as are the other four tracks, which includes my favorite Pink Floyd song, “Welcome to the Machine.”

1. Born to Run (Bruce Springsteen, 1975) – Tough to write about my favorite album of all time in just one sentence, but I will say that “Born to Run,” “Jungleland,” and “Thunder Road” are three of the greatest rock songs ever produced.

MY TOP 50 MOVIES

(Note: While I have never blogged about my overall favorite movies I did once do a blog about the funniest movie of each decade, which you can view here; and the scariest movie of each decade, which you can view here. Also note that this was the hardest of my four lists to narrow down with changes being made right up until press time. Also, also note that it’s the director’s name I have listed after each movie, not the gaffer.)

50. Sideways (Alexander Payne, 2004) – This movie not only made me realize what an incredible actor Paul Giamatti is, but also that I’m supposed to hate merlot.

49. Jaws (Steven Spielberg, 1975) – Incredibly tense and masterfully acted, I wonder if this movie would have been anywhere near as popular if it were called “Three Guys and a Shark.”

48. The Usual Suspects (Bryan Singer, 1995) – Great ensemble cast with one of the best surprise endings of all time.

47. Ed Wood (Tim Burton, 1994) – It is perhaps ironic that a movie about the worst director of all time won two Academy Awards, but it was, indeed, a great movie.

46. Shakespeare in Love (John Madden, 1998) – As a big fan of the Bard of Avon, I loved “Shakespeare in Love” and am one of the few people who was pleased it beat out “Saving Private Ryan” for Best Picture (although I acknowledge that’s a great movie, too).

45. The Incredibles (Brad Bird, 2004) – Endlessly entertaining, this is my favorite animated movie.

44. The Green Mile (Frank Darabont, 1999) – As far as Stephen King prison movies go, I know that “Shawshank Redemption” is probably the better film, but John Coffey may be the most likeable character in the history of cinema, so I give the nod to “The Green Mile.”

43. The Invisible Man (James Whale, 1933) – Of the 1930s classic monster movies, this is by far my favorite, probably because of the amazing performance Claude Rains gives as the title character.

42. The Wizard of Oz (Victor Fleming, 1939) – One of the most iconic movies of all time, I was mesmerized by it as a kid and still have a nostalgic appreciation for it today, though I recognize it might be a bit dated.

41. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Larry Charles, 2006) – The funniest movie of this century, there were some scenes that made me laugh so hard I ended up missing the two to three minutes that followed, because I couldn’t catch my breath.

40. Some Like it Hot (Billy Wilder, 1959) – It’s the best performance of Tony Curtis’s career, yet it’s Jack Lemmon who steals the movie, especially with his reactions in the side-splitingly funny final moments.

39. Rocky (John G. Avildsen, 1976) – Looking back on the overall mediocrity of Sylvester Stallone’s career, you’ve really got to hand it to the guy for writing an incredible screenplay with a lead role perfectly suited for him.

38. The Great Santini (Lewis John Carlino, 1979) – A great movie that flew under the radar, to this day it’s my favorite Robert Duvall performance.

37. 2001: A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968) – Although I’ve always liked this movie a lot, it wasn’t until I finally got to see it on the big screen last year that I realized how amazing it really is.

36. Annie Hall (Woody Allen, 1977) – While I don’t eat lobster, this movie gave me some great pointers on how to catch one if it’s hiding behind the refrigerator.

35. Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (Quentin Tarrantino, 2003) – Containing what I consider to be the most enjoyable fight sequence I’ve ever seen on screen, this movie is like an animated film done in live action.

34. The Fisher King (Terry Gilliam, 1991) – An amazing performance by Robin Williams with an amazingly inventive screenplay written by a guy who went to the same high school as me…albeit ten years earlier.

33. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Steven Spielberg, 1977) – You know a movie is great when you think of it fondly every single time you eat mashed potatoes.

32. Raising Arizona (The Coen Brothers, 1987) – A fun, quirky, frenetic action-comedy flick that takes place right near me in “rural Tempe.”

31. The Princess Bride (Rob Reiner, 1987) – I’ve probably seen this movie at least 20 times by now and somehow it manages to get more likeable with every viewing.

30. Goodfellas (Martin Scorsese, 1990) – In a film filled with great scenes, the Joe Pesci “How am I funny?” scene is one of the greatest in movie history.

29. Take the Money and Run (Woody Allen, 1969) – It’s difficult to rob a bank when you misspell the holdup note, or to play cello in a marching band, or to threaten someone with a gun whittled out of soap while it’s raining…

28. North by Northwest (Alfred Hitchcock, 1959) – In my mind Hitchcock’s greatest movie with Cary Grant, having seen it in my youth made me enjoy my visit to Mount Rushmore as an adult that much more.

27. Fargo (The Coen Brothers, 1996) – Frances McDormand won the Best Actress Oscar for her role as a very pregnant small town police chief, but her performance was so good I feel like they should have given her two statues.

26. Inglorious Basterds (Quentin Tarrantino, 2009) – This alternative history of events during World War II features an amazingly chilling performance by Christoph Waltz.

25. Schindler’s List (Steven Spielberg, 1993) – This actual history of events during World War II features an even more amazingly chilling performance by Ralph Fiennes.

24. Duck Soup (Leo McCarey, 1933) – The Marx Brothers at their finest, this movie contains what I consider to be the funniest scene in movie history as Groucho and Harpo face off against each other through a “mirror.”

23. Raiders of the Lost Ark (Steven Spielberg, 1981) – Arguably the greatest action adventure film ever made, Harrison Ford managed to find the perfect blend of charismatic and hammy for Indiana Jones.

22. Amelie (Jean Pierre-Jeunet, 2001) – My favorite French language film, it’s hard not to fall in love with Audrey Tautou as the magically playful title character.

21. Ragtime (Milos Forman, 1981) – Great ensemble cast with several different story threads that all converge by the end, Milos Forman is the only director with three films in my Top 25.

20. West Side Story (Jerome Robbins & Robert Wise, 1961) – It’s tough to get more entertaining than a movie that shows street gangs singing and dancing their way through their rundown neighborhood.

19. Ordinary People (Robert Redford, 1980) – While a young Timothy Hutton won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for this film, and deservedly so, Donald Sutherland’s performance as his dad was every bit as good, if not more so, yet somehow, he wasn’t even nominated!

18. Airplane! (Abrahams, Zucker & Zucker, 1980) – Never before has a movie managed to pack more laugh lines into an 88 minute span.

17. The Sting (George Roy Hill, 1973) – It’s impossible not to love this Newman-Redford flick about two con men in the 1930s.

16. Being John Malkovich (Spike Jonze, 1999) – One of the most bizarre movie plots of all time and certainly the best instance of an actor playing himself.

15. Once Were Warriors (Lee Tamahori, 1994) – This indie film from New Zealand is at times startlingly violent and other times surprisingly tender, but at all times incredibly compelling.

14. Planet of the Apes (Franklin J. Schaffner, 1968) – I will admit that the acting and dialogue may not be the greatest, but I have some sort of primordial connection to this film that propels it to this lofty position on my list.

13. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Milos Forman, 1975) – Nicholson’s performance in this film is one for the ages, but the supporting cast is pretty darn great too.

12. The Producers (Mel Brooks, 1968) – Mel Brooks has made several of the funniest movies of all time, including this one, which, in addition to just having a lot of laughs, also has a great plot and a bunch of incredible performances.

11. The Shining (Stanley Kubrick, 1980) – Another great Nicholson performance, this time in one of the greatest horror films ever made.

10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones, 1975) – The Pythons at their very best, while the Black Knight scene, the killer rabbit scene and the Knights Who Say Ni scene are all great, my favorite is the not as much talked about scene with John Cleese as Tim the Enchanter.

9. Play It Again, Sam (Herbert Ross, 1972) – Yes, it’s incredibly funny, but the thing that puts this movie over the top is how it both reveres and pokes fun at one of the greatest movies of all time.

8. Silence of the Lambs (Jonathan Demme, 1991) – Perhaps the most edge-of-your-seat, hair-raising thriller of all time, it forever changed the menu for people who drink chianti.

7. The Exorcist (William Friedkin, 1973) – The scariest movie ever made, period.

6. A Clockwork Orange (Stanley Kubrick, 1971) – Equal parts inventive, entertaining, and disturbing, once you’ve watched it you will never think about the song “Singing in the Rain” the same way again.

5. Amadeus (Milos Forman, 1974) – The story of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, told through the crazed eyes of his jealous rival, Antonio Salieri, is absolutely riveting.

4. Chariots of Fire (Hugh Hudson, 1981) – I adore this understated true story about two British track stars competing in the 1924 Olympics, and for a long time I considered this to be my favorite film.

3. Life is Beautiful (Roberto Benigni, 1998) – If you are going to do a comedy set in a concentration camp, you better hope that you do it perfectly, and Roberto Benigni managed to do just that.

2. Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1942) – The single most quotable film of all time, with the coolest leading man of all time, it’s impossible not to love this film.

1. The Graduate (Mike Nichols, 1967) – Not sure how to quantify what makes this film my favorite, other than to say that somehow the combination of the amazing Simon & Garfunkle score and the spot-on performance of Dustin Hoffman as the original film slacker, just connects with me on a level that no other movie can.

MY TOP 50 TV SHOWS

(Note: TV shows are pretty unique, because there is usually not one primary creative source behind them—like a musical artist for albums, or a director for film. There are often multiple creators of a TV show and obviously different directors for different episodes. So, since I love putting things in parentheses so much, instead of a name and a year, I’m putting in the year range and number of episodes. And with that, I will close my beloved parenthetical note.)

50. The Punisher (2017 – 2019, 26 episodes) – Watching Jon Bernthal play the title character beat the crap out of anyone who gets in his way in this Netflix series is cathartic.

49. Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (1995 – 2002, 81 episodes) – Comedian Jonathan Katz plods his way through each episode with a deliciously dry humor as he provides therapy to a vast array of stand-up comics in this Comedy Central animated series.

48. Scrubs (2001 – 2010, 182 episodes) – It’s load of fun to watch the trials and tribulations of Zach Braff as a young put-upon doctor at Sacred Heart Hospital, but it’s equally as fun to watch the antics of the many silly supporting characters.

47. Chuck (2007 – 2012, 91 episodes) – Just got into this series relatively recently, so while I still have a season-and-a-half to go, I am really enjoying the combo of comedy, action, and tension that this series starring Zachary Levi provides.

46. Better Off Ted (2009 – 2010, 26 episodes) – Sadly, this show was cancelled after just two seasons, but watching the ridiculous goings on at the soulless sci-tech company, Veridian Dynamics, is laugh-out-loud funny, particularly in the scenes with Portia de Rossi as the ruthless, unfeeling, boss who sticks to the company line no matter how unethical it might be.

45. Freaks and Geeks (1999 – 2000, 18 episodes) – This show, depicting the always funny and often heartwarming tales of teens at a suburban Detroit high school, launched the careers of Linda Cardellini, Seth Rogen, James Franco, and Jason Segal, and was inexplicably cancelled after just one season. 

44. Police Squad! (1982, 6 episodes) – After the success of the movie Airplane! the same gang made this hysterical mini-series, which then spawned the equally hysterical Naked Gun movies.

43. Parks and Recreation (2009 – 2015, 125 episodes) – This Amy Poehler vehicle is much funnier than you might expect a show about a government office to be, largely because of the all-star supporting cast like Nick Offerman as the enigmatic, stone-faced man’s man Ron Swanson, and Chris Pratt as the immature, clueless puppy dog, Andy Dwyer.

42. Sex and the City (1998 – 2004, 94 episodes) – This show about the exploits of Carrie Bradshaw and her three friends was very funny, but what elevates it is the fact that it was like a love letter to New York City.

41. Daredevil (2015 – 2018, 39 episodes) – I’m not a big comic book guy, but every episode of this Netflix series is action-packed and has me on the edge of my seat.

40. Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987 – 1994, 176 episodes) – Sure, I like the original series in all its campiness, but this series took Star Trek in a more dramatic direction with great sci-fi storylines and a tour de force acting turn by Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean Luc Picard.

39. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013 – present, 131 episodes) – Once I got past the fact that this is a show about Brooklyn cops, but somehow not one of them has a Brooklyn accent, I realized it’s actually very funny and Andy Samberg as the extremely productive, yet completely buffoonish super cop, Jake Peralta, is incredibly fun to watch.

38. Monty Python’s Flying Circus (1969 – 1974, 46 episodes) – Before the movies, of course, was this outrageously funny TV series, which contained everything I ever needed to know about spam and cheese.

37. House (2004 – 2012, 176 episodes) – Hugh Laurie gives one of the all-time great drama series performances as incredibly brilliant, incredibly arrogant, incredibly drug-addicted Dr. Gregory House.

36. The IT Crowd (2006 – 2013, 25 episodes) – This British sitcom about the misadventures of three IT guys working in the basement of a generic mega-company is laugh-out-loud funny in pretty much every episode.

35. 30 Rock (2006 – 2013, 138 episodes) – This very funny behind the scenes look at an NBC comedy sketch show included an endless array of guest spots by celebrities playing themselves, like Jerry Seinfeld, Tom Hanks, Condoleezza Rice, Larry King, Don Cheadle, Adam West, Martin Scorsese, and Oprah Winfrey, to name but a few.

34. Firefly (2002 – 2003, 14 episodes) – The most egregious instance of a series being terminated after just one season, this incredibly fun action, sci-fi, western launched the career of Nathan Fillion.

33. Boston Legal (2004 – 2008, 101 episodes) – The fascinating going-ons at a Boston law firm featured excellent performances by James Spader, Candice Bergen, and…wait a second… William Shatner!?!

32. All in the Family (1971 – 1979, 208 episodes) – Carol O’Connor gave us one of the most iconic characters in television history as the somehow simultaneously infuriating and loveable racist, Archie Bunker.

31. Castle (2009 – 2016, 173 episodes) – A sometimes fun, sometimes tense murder mystery comedy-drama, this series was so good due to the amazing chemistry between Nathan Fillion as Rick Castle and Stana Katic as Kate Beckett, which is kind of incredible because I’ve read they despised each other off screen.

30. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (2017 – present, 26 episodes) – This show, about a wonderfully charismatic young woman from a traditional Jewish family in 1950s New York who leaves her husband and becomes a stand-up comic, is marvelously fun, marvelously funny, and marvelously unique.

29. The Walking Dead (2010 – present, 136 episodes) – Had this show maintained the level of quality from the first three seasons it would have easily made my Top 10, but though it jumped the shark several years ago, I still find myself watching this tense zombie drama.

28. Sneaky Pete (2015 – 2019, 30 episodes) – This Amazon series starring Giovanni Ribisi as an endearing con man, has you constantly holding your breath to see when and if the particular con he has going might go awry.

27. M*A*S*H (1972 – 1983, 251 episodes) – This iconic show about a medical army camp during the Korean War (which lasted much longer than the actual Korean War) will make you laugh and cry…sometimes at the same time.

26. Friends (1994 – 2004, 236 episodes) – There was nothing particularly revolutionary about this series, but the show was consistently funny and the chemistry of the six lead characters (who were basically the same age as me at the time of the series) was unmatched.

25. Better Call Saul (2015 – present, 40 episodes) – This excellent spin-off of “Breaking Bad,” which shows Saul Goodman’s life prior to meeting Walter White, gets nominated for Emmys in the Drama category, but often it is funnier than any comedy series out there.

24. The League (2009 – 2015, 84 episodes) – The antics of five best friends who have a hyper-competitive fantasy football league is often completely inappropriate, but always hysterically funny.

23. Santa Clarita Diet (2017 – present, 30 episodes) – Not for the faint of heart, this outrageously funny zombie sitcom shows a fair amount of gore, and features Drew Barrymore in the role of her life as an undead suburban housewife who needs to feast on human flesh to survive.

22. Modern Family (2009 – present, 236 episodes) – While this show has a great ensemble cast, it’s Ty Burrell as the ever-positive, magic-loving Phil Dunphy that makes this one of the great family-focused sitcoms of all time.

21. Stranger Things (2016 – present, 25 episodes) – Take one part X-Files, one part Spielberg, one part John Hughes, and mix it up in a secret underground science lab and voila, you’ve got this incredibly enjoyable, incredibly freaky Netflix show.

20. Sherlock (2010 – 2017, 15 episodes) – Benedict Cumberbatch is amazing as the arrogant genius, Sherlock Holmes, but it’s Martin Freeman as Dr. John Watson whose impeccably nuanced performances will break your heart.

19. Family Guy (1999 – present, 331 episodes) – This show borrowed (maybe stole) the concept of “The Simpsons” and took it in a deliciously outrageous direction as we watch the exploits of the Griffin family, whose moral arbiter is a pragmatic talking dog.

18. The Office (2005 – 2013, 188 episodes) – While I like the British version too, the American series, featuring some of the funniest characters of all time—like Dwight Schrute, Jim Halpert, and of course, Michael Scott—is the one I latched onto.

17. Californication (2007 – 2014, 84 episodes) – David Duchovny gives an incredible performance as the out-of-control writer addicted to every vice known to man, but his supporting cast is equally as fun to watch.

16. St. Elsewhere (1982 – 1988, 137 episodes) – This extremely moving, always compelling show about the staff of a Boston hospital launched the careers of a couple of people you may have heard of, like Howie Mandel and Denzel Washington.

15. The Big Bang Theory (2007 – 2019, 280 episodes) – This joyful celebration of geek culture, which is essentially “Friends” for scientists, is hysterically funny and gave us one of the most iconic characters of all time in Sheldon Cooper.

14. 3rd Rock From the Sun (1996 – 2001, 139 episodes) – This show, featuring John Lithgow as the high commander of a four-person crew that comes to Earth and poses as humans to learn about their ways, is so, so, so funny and includes my favorite Thanksgiving episode from any TV show.

13. The Honeymooners (1955 – 1956, 39 episodes) – A short-lived sitcom from the early days of television, the interactions between Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden and Art Carney as Ed Norton are absolutely priceless.

12. Cheers (1982 – 1993, 271 episodes) – Ted Danson was great as Sam Malone, the womanizing retired ballplayer, but the supporting characters—Carla, Norm, Cliff, Woody, Fraiser—stole the show with their hysterical side comments.

11. The Simpsons (1989 – present, 663 episodes) – While I have to admit that I haven’t really watched the series in more than a few years, this show is hysterical and groundbreaking and forever changed the landscape for TV animation.

10. Everybody Loves Raymond (1996 – 2005, 210 episodes) – Comedian Ray Romano as sportswriter Ray Barone was great, but what really makes this show amazing is his relationship to the rest of his family, particularly his mother, whose guilt trips sometimes hit a bit too close to home.

9. Arrested Development (2003 – 2019, 84 episodes) – This series, that follows the antics of the Bluth’s, the most whack-job family in the history of television, contains some of the funniest scenes I have ever seen on the small screen.

8. Monk (2002 – 2009, 125 episodes) – Tony Shalhoub’s funny and endearing portrayal of the obsessive compulsive San Francisco detective Adrian Monk earned him three Emmy awards, and rightfully so.

7. The Twilight Zone (1959 – 1964, 156 episodes) – This iconic series forever changed the path of television sci-fi and horror and has dozens of episodes that are cultural touchstones.

6. The Odd Couple (1970 – 1975, 114 episodes) – The best buddy comedy television has ever seen, the interplay between Jack Klugman as Oscar and Tony Randall as Felix is perfection.

5. The X-Files (1993 – 2018, 217 episodes) – David Duchovny as the paranormal believing FBI agent Fox Mulder, and Gillian Anderson as his non-believing partner, had amazing chemistry in this always fascinating, often freaky series that really ended in 2002 before an ill-advised comeback in 2016.

4. Seinfeld (1989 – 1998, 173 episodes) – The writing on this show was so good it has actually entered our vernacular with phrases like “No soup for you,” and “Hello, Newman.”

3. Breaking Bad (2008 – 2013, 62 episodes) – Arguably the greatest drama series of all time, the way Bryan Cranston slowly, but surely, transformed the character of Walter White from an unassuming, nerdy chemistry teacher, to a sinister, sociopathic crime lord, is the pinnacle of television acting.

2. The Wonder Years (1988 – 1993, 115 episodes) – No show ever portrayed the pain and wonder of coming of age better than this one that followed the trials and tribulations of Kevin Arnold as he tried to make sense of his life in suburbia during the Vietnam era.

1. Taxi (1978 – 1983, 114 episodes) – Following the lives of the drivers of the Sunshine Cab Company is a simple premise, but no show in the history of television has more heart or funnier supporting characters in Louie De Palma, Jim Ignatowski, and Latka Gravas.

MY TOP 50 BOOKS

(Note: I had every intention of doing a one-line write up on each of these books, just like I did for my other three lists. Unfortunately, I ran out of time and it was more important to me to get this blog published on my birthday. Besides—my blog, my rules. All I’ll say is that these are 50 books that I love and I highly recommend them all.)

50. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union (Michael Chabon, 2007)

49. Time Out of Joint (Philip K. Dick, 1959)

48. The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon (Stephen King, 1999)

47. The Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut, 1959)

46. Me Talk Pretty One Day (David Sedaris, 2000)

45. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft (Stephen King, 2000)

44. Freak the Mighty (Rodman Philbrick, 1993)

43. The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (Christopher Moore, 2004)

42. What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions (Randall Munroe, 2014)

41. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown, 2003)

40. The Princess Bride (William Goldman, 1973)

39. If Beale Street Could Talk (James Baldwin, 1974)

38. The Hundred-Foot Journey (Richard C. Morais, 2010)

37. Tourist Season (Carl Hiaasen, 1986)

36. Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories (Terry Bisson, 1993)

35. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (John Boyne, 2006)

34. Bloodsucking Fiends- A Love Story (Christopher Moore, 1995)

33. Born to Run (Bruce Springsteen, 2016)

32. The Sun Also Rises (Ernest Hemingway, 1926)

31. Stranger in a Strange Land (Robert A. Heinlein, 1961)

30. Motherless Brooklyn (Jonathan Lethem, 1999)

29. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (J.K. Rowling, 1998)

28. Into the Wild (Jon Krakauer, 1996)

27. Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1962)

26. Everything is Illuminated (Jonathan Safran Foer, 2002)

25. The Wisdom of Insecurity (Alan Watts, 1951)

24. Life of Pi (Yann Martel, 2001)

23. The Sneetches and Other Stories (Dr. Seuss, 1961)

22. The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog (Dave Barry, 2006)

21. The Lock Artist (Steve Hamilton, 2010)

20. Survivor (Chuck Palahniuk, 1999)

19. The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger, 2003)

18. Player Piano (Kurt Vonnegut, 1952)

17. The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America (Erik Larson, 2003)

16. The One and Only Ivan (Katherine Applegate, 2010)

15. The Fortress of Solitude (Jonathan Lethem, 2003)

14. Practical Demonkeeping (Christopher Moore, 1992)

13. In Cold Blood (Truman Capote, 1966)

12. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J.K. Rowling, 1999)

11. On the Road (Jack Kerouac, 1957)

10. Cat’s Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut, 1963)

9. The Book Thief (Markus Zusak, 2005)

8. The Chosen (Chaim Potok, 1967)

7. Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov, 1955)

6. Interview With the Vampire (Anne Rice, 1976)

5. The Plot Against America (Philip Roth, 2004)

4. Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet (Jamie Ford, 2009)

3. The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1925)

2. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (Michael Chabon, 2000)

1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams, 1979)

For those of you who stuck it out to the end of this tome, thanks for indulging me on my 50th birthday. Let’s do this again in 50 years when I’ll provide my Top 100 lists for each of these categories. Until then, happy viewing and reading!

Monday, August 19, 2019

The Boss of Milestones




Next month will be daunting—mentally and psychologically daunting.

Next month comes with a milestone birthday that, no matter how I look at it, will make me feel old.

Next month, exactly one week after I turn 50, Bruce Springsteen turns 70, and that is a milestone I can’t wrap my mind around.

For me, turning 50 is no big deal. I’ve felt like I was 50 since I was 38, but now, at least, I’ll get the benefits that come with AARP. But The Boss turning 70 is just too much for me to handle.

Springsteen represents the wild rebellion of youth. His music, when he was at the height of his popularity, was about cutting loose with friends and the promise of summer and the ache and thrill of young love. It was about being born to run and racing in the street and dancing in the dark. It was not about getting old; growing up, maybe—but not getting old.

I was five years old when the album Born to Run came out. I’m not sure exactly when it arrived in our house, but I am sure that it was my brother Mark, seven years my senior, who purchased it. But it wasn’t until a few years later that I got hooked. Sometime in fifth grade I started to listen to music obsessively, and Born to Run was the album I listened to more than any other. After weeks of constant play I had every lyric of every song memorized. It was far and away my favorite album at the time and four decades later it remains my favorite album.

Four decades later—whew! It’s a very long time and I fully understand that people age. Four decades later I take blood pressure medication on a daily basis, and have had colonoscopies, and grow hair in weird places. I have aged in four decades, but every time I listen to Springsteen I’m transported back to my youth. And next month, the man who transports me back there turns 70.

Of course, the truth is that Springsteen at 70 will be considerably more youthful than I will be at 50.  I’ve seen him in concert four times, most recently in 2012, and the amount of energy this guy had on stage was mind-boggling. The Boss was doing things up there at 63 that I wouldn’t have been able to do at 23. And I’m not even talking about the musical stuff, which of course, I couldn’t do; I’m talking about the athleticism and the exuberance that he displayed for three straight hours. If I tried to match that for 15 minutes I’d need a defibrillator.

But that concert was seven years ago. How am I to know if Springsteen is still able to muster that kind of energy as he approaches his septuagenarian years? Well, the evidence is overwhelming. Since that night The Boss has played 204 more concerts, published an autobiography, released two albums, and did a run of 236 shows on Broadway. And I just found out last week that my sister-in-law’s friend works out at the same hole-in-the wall gym that he goes to regularly in Central Jersey. Apparently, Bruce was born to run on the treadmill.

So maybe it’s not so much the number 70 attached to Springsteen that’s making me feel old. It is just a number after all. Maybe it’s that as I hit 50, I see this iconic rocker from my youth, who is 20 years older than me, still making noise, while the only noise I make is the groan I emit when I emerge from my recliner.

So happy 70th, Bruce! And thank you for making the music that brings me back to my younger days. Now excuse me while I take my afternoon nap.