Friday, October 16, 2015

Ghost in the Big Red Machine

As I drove to work this morning listening to the Doug and Wolf Show on the radio, it was reported that the hotel the Arizona Cardinals are staying at leading up to their game with the Pittsburgh Steelers this Sunday may, in fact, be haunted.

The hotel—or more accurately, resort—located in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia, is called The Greenbrier and has been serving guests since 1778. Presumably some of the original guests of the resort are now dead and, having grown bored of taking advantage of the same amenities for the past 200 years, are messing with the minds of the Cardinals players. Indeed, one such poltergeist—a little girl named Carol—has been whispering in the ear of Cardinals’ safety, Tony Jefferson.  It’s unclear what it is she’s trying to communicate, but hopefully she’s giving him some advanced intel on the receiving routes of the Steelers’ Antonio Brown.

In the meantime, other players are reporting hearing noises at night. They haven’t specified what kind of noises so it could be anything from a creaking door to someone in the adjacent room playing World of Warcraft a bit too loud, but the implication is there is something otherworldly afoot.

It’s tough to say what affect all this paranormal activity will have on the Cardinals this Sunday, but as long as Carson Palmer doesn’t start suddenly spinning his head around and spitting pea soup in the middle of a play, I think they should be okay. Then again, maybe if he does do that, defenders will back off of him and he’ll have more room to throw. Hmmm…here’s hoping the phrase “possession Cardinals” takes on a whole new meaning this weekend.