Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful

A couple months back I blogged about how cold it was in Phoenix—the day that I wrote that the low was 42 degrees. (See, I was trying to be funny because I know that’s not that cold compared to other places. Ha, ha!) Well, clearly the weather gods decided to pull some sort of crazy prank on me because for the past four days the lows have been in the low 20s. Yesterday when the low was 21 here in Phoenix, the low in Anchorage was 35. And yes, I do mean Anchorage, Alaska, not the much lesser known Anchorage, Kenya.

When the temperatures stay this cold for this long in a place where a cardigan sweater usually passes for winter wear, strange things start to happen. This morning, while driving my 6-year-old son to school the following conversation ensued:

Son: Why are all those bushes covered with sheets?

Me: Because it's so cold out people are covering them to keep them warm so they don't freeze and die.

Son: Why don't they cover the trees?

Me: Because they probably don't have sheets big enough to cover the trees.

Son: But won't the trees die, too?

Me: I don't know.

Son: Didn't you go to high school and college?

Yes, it’s so cold out it’s causing my Kindergartner to question my educational attainment.

But that episode is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m pretty sure the other day a small section of my brain froze solid. When I left my house I meant to stop at the Starbucks around the corner to get a hot chocolate and I didn’t remember until I pulled into the parking lot of my office…20 miles later. The only explanation for that complete mental lapse is that the Arctic temperatures somehow shutdown my caffeine cortex.

And yet another bizarre effect of this bitterly cold weather is that it’s making me write shorter blog entries. In fact, this one just ended.